We all die. It’s part of life. But few of us want think about it unless we have to. The aging of our parents is a powerful reminder, which offers special opportunities for healing, personal growth and connection.
One of the hardest things about helping aging parents is making the shift from “child” to “caregiver” of your parents. Yet as they age and lose some of their physical capacity, this shift will become necessary. A good transition role is that of Sherlock Homes.
When you visit your parents be a good detective! Look for dangers to their health and safety:
- Is there enough light around the house for weakened eyes?
- Are there areas that might cause a fall for someone with slower reflexes and greater imbalance?
- How are your parents doing with ordinary tasks like walking, driving or cooking?
- Keep a journal.
- Think of solutions that you can implement without being too intrusive or bossy. Make suggestions.
Interested in more ideas about how to help your aging parent? I will be giving a free webinar on May 22, 2014: Three Common Mistakes Even Smart Daughters Make That Keep Them Worried About Their Aging Parent. Smart sons are welcome too.
Click here to learn more and sign up.
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Grief Transformation Coach Michelle Peticolas, Ph.D. helps people transform their grief with a holistic approach to mind, body and spirit that heals trauma, reframes past attachments and releases limiting beliefs while uncovering a true life purpose and direction. If you’re ready to shift into a whole new way of being with death and loss, a new way of living your life, get Michelle’s complimentary guide, Essentials for Grieving Well at www.secretsoflifeanddeath.com
Dear Michelle, I’m deeply moved by the photo illustrating this post of your meaningful blog
.I wonder if You will permit me to say that it seems to me that your mother is like trying to repair you in some way or trying to fix you in some way , reminds me of a similar situation with my own mother, when I could feel at the same time her gratitude, her regrets , the impossibility of changing the past , how fragile we are as human beings and that in some moments the best answer is just a moment of silence and of acceptance of our limits and place in creation, is not easy to be caregiver of your parents but no to be is much worse. To accept being caregiver of a mother or father is also enter in the infinite mystery of Life or vice versa Death.
It is said in ancient Christian wisdom “Meditare novissima tua et in aeternum non peccabis” this can be translated more or less like “meditate on death makes us better” ,when you are caregiver of an old person you are always in touch with death is like diving in a big ocean, sometimes cold, sometimes dark, but always an ocean of enlightenment, in some point you realize that death although sad and dark is necessary to continue with the mystery of existence and a wonderful reminder that we must embrace the Light and Love of that mystery always evolving, in such a way as to be prepared to be ourselves embraced by the mystery of death. I feel here the presence of your mother smiling and helping you now more tan ever. Thank you for sharing that photo.God bless You and all your work and determination.
Dear Guillermo, Thank you for your insightful and loving post. All you say is true about the journey of caring for our aging parents. It is an opportunity to gain wisdom about life and death. Yes, I believe you are right, my mother is helping now from the other side in the pursuit of my vision to transform our planetary fear of death.