Love and Other Antidotes to Fear

According to the Beatles, All You Need Is Love to conquer fear. It’s true. Love makes everything possible except fear. The two emotions are incompatible.

In the Beatles’ movie, The Yellow Submarine, the Blue Meanies are vanquished by love. We are all familiar with the blue meanies. They are the thoughts that leave us feeling down and blue and full of fear. Try shifting into love.

Think of someone you love or who loves you and see how fast it changes your mood.

If you just lost someone you love, however, it could have the opposite effect. Below are some other practices you might try.

Hobji throws fear out of his home.


Begin with compassion for yourself.

It’s not your fault that you have fear.

Here are some of the reason why we fall into a habit of fear.

  • We are biologically predisposed to focus on the negative. It is a left-over survival program bequeathed to us from our animal ancestors through the brain stem – a primitive brain structure that occurs in all animals. Our animal ancestors survived through their vigilance to danger cue. Since humans have eliminated most of their predators this predisposition is often more a liability than an asset. It causes us to focus on the bad and since the danger is largely mental, the survival mechanism does little more than create stress in the body. The good news is that we have the brainpower to change this programing.
  • Our parents, whose job it was to keep us out of harms way, may have instilled their own fear programming. The mother of a friend of mine said it was the things he didn’t worry about that would go wrong. The poor guy worried about everything in order to keep the bad at bay. According to the Law of Attraction, however, this practice actually does the reverse and draws to us the very thing we worry about.
  • We are bombarded daily by fear messages from marketing and political groups. Why? Because fear motivates action. Fear compels us to do something to reduce the feeling of threat. Psychological studies show that people are actually more likely to make choices based on avoiding fear rather than potential gain.
Release the Feeling

The best way to release fear is to allow the feeling to dissipate, i.e. to focus on the feeling until it works its way through. The problem is that most of the time our thoughts jump in and trigger more fear. It takes practice to learn how to focus on feelings without letting our thoughts take over. That is the benefit of meditation. It teaches us how to stop the negative thoughts. My Stress Release Body Scan audio, a guided meditation, can walk you through the steps of focusing on the body and releasing negative feelings. Download HERE.

Change the Feeling

In the movie The King and I, Deborah Kerr instructs her son to Whistle a Happy Tune in order to shift out of fear. She sings: When I fool the people I fool, I fool myself as well. This is actually great advice. Whistling a happy tune uplifts the body through both sound and posture and convinces the body and the brain that all is well. Of course if you are whistle-challenged like I am, you may have to listen to Deborah whistle instead.

Studies show that just changing your posture can have a big impact on your mood and your self-confidence. The posture tells the brain that the body feels good and so the brain changes it’s thoughts to match.

Try smiling and see how that affects your mood. Then try smiling at others.

I often smile at people on my walks and the responses I get almost never fail to uplift me.

Change the Thoughts

Our thoughts have a powerful affect on the state of our bodies That’s why the placebo affect is so powerful in healing. Change your mind; change your mood. In the movie The Sound of Music, Julie Andrews instructs her young charges to think of their Favorite Things in order to quiet their fear. This can work magic. What are your favorite things? When you add upbeat music you boost the effect.

Be Brilliant

A powerful way to break the fear habit is to pursue your passion. I recently watched the film Maudie about a woman with severe arthritis who manages to uplift her humble life through her artwork. She’s a painter so the activity is not easy for arthritic hands. At first she does it just for herself to bring color and joyful images into her life. Eventually, she gets discovered and even Vice President Nixon buys one her pieces. She doesn’t ever get rich or overcome by fame. She just keeps painting. Based on the life of Canadian folk artist Maud Lewis, the film reminds us that living in our brilliance can make all the difference in life regardless of our physical circumstances.

Often our brilliance gets blocked in childhood through emotional wounds and trauma. Reclaiming one’s brilliance often entails facing fear. For more about living your life in brilliance and how to get past the mind and body blocks, watch my webinar: No Regrets: 3 Keys to Your Brilliant Life.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Dr. Michelle Peticolas is a national speaker and expert on the topics of loss, emotional wounding and unresolved grief. She has a Ph.D. in Sociology and over 18 years experience coaching people through major life challenges.  If you’re ready to release old wounds and trapped emotions that may be holding you back and step into a life really worth living, get Michelle’s complimentary illustrated guide, Essentials for Grieving Well at

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