What is Your Legacy?

We mostly think of legacy in terms of the money or property we might pass on to our survivors. It is actually anything transmitted or received from us including intangibles like values, beliefs, or attitudes. Often the intangible legacies are more valuable than money or property because they can guide one’s life. My mother, for […]

Cultivating Courage to Face Fear

Going after our dream is a little bit like a Halloween adventure. We don our costumes – a vision of ourselves — and set off to claim the promised rewards. Along the way we may encounter dark shadows and scary entryways. There may danger and unpleasant surprises. We are scrutinized and judged as we struggle […]

Should We Have More Control Over When We Die?

Modeled after Oregon’s Death with Dignity Act, the California End of Life Option Act, SB128 would allow a mentally competent, terminally ill adult in the final stages of his/her disease to request medication from a physician to bring about a peaceful death. This is a big step that should receive our careful thought and discussion. […]

Three Ways Death Can Invigorate Life

Death has a bad public image. In hospitals, it’s the enemy to be fought and resisted. On TV, death is either quick and quickly forgotten in cop shows; scary, ooookeee spooky in horror shows; or tragic and depressing in dramas.  Death needs a new PR campaign! We need new stories about death if we are […]

Transforming Death Denial into Curiosity, Self-Discovery and Wonderment

I made a lot of mistakes when my parents were dying. Obvious signs of their aging were overlooked, communication broke down, I often failed to show up and when I did, I quickly ran away. I felt confused, indecisive and overwhelmed and when they were gone, full of remorse and regret. The experience was intense […]

A Time to Die

When my friend, Marianne, had a recurrence of a particularly nasty cancer, she fought it for all she was worth. She was only 53 and not ready to die. Her oncologist told her it was time to sign up with hospice. Instead she plopped down $4,000, crossed the Mexican boarder and returned with a bag […]

Eating with Grief

Eating affects the way we feel, how we function and how are bodies repair. This is especially important when we are under stress or coping with a significant loss. In my blog Grief Lessons, I described how I lost my appetite after my first husband left me in 1984. Loss of appetite is not an […]