Getting Into Balance Again

What does it mean to be in balance? Do the scales of justice come to your mind? Would balance mean having an equal amount of good and bad, happiness and sadness, work and play. Or would you imagine something weighted a bit more on the positive side of the scale?

Hobji balances over river canyon

Whatever the mix, balance is temporary. It requires constant readjustment because life is always changing. Like an airplane on a transcontinental flight, you are off course more than 90% of the time. Balance is about doing the work to get back on the path.

Balance is dynamic

To create balance we must learn to accept whatever life throws us — the bad as well as good days, pain along with pleasure. It is the contrasts that make life interesting. We would not enjoy the light if there were no darkness. A painting without variation or shadow would be dull and boring. Acceptance of this principal comes easier when we remember that we only grow and evolve in times of difficulty and challenge. Trees at the edge of a forest are the strongest because they are regularly buffeted by the wind.

Awareness and Action

Getting into balance or back on course requires both awareness and action. We need to be aware of when we are off course in order to course correct. One sign is too much negativity in our lives, too much pain or unhappiness. Don’t waste any thoughts on beating yourself up, or anyone else, it is simply time to adjust your course. In this disaster-focused culture of ours it is easy to fall into a pattern of worry, complaining and blame. This mindset is toxic to our body and spirit and will cause illness, premature aging and even death. Once you become aware of the negative pattern, you must work to shift it. You can start with gratitude, i.e. notice what is good in your life and focus on that. Also, cut out as many sources of negative energy as you can.

Expect Challenge When You Invite Change

Sometime life flows and sometimes we go through bumpy patches. This is especially true before we are getting ready for jump to a new level. Although the old level is too confining, too limiting, the required leap into the unknown can feel scary and trigger fear. Balance is accepting that fear is part of the process and act anyway.

When we feel threatened by challenge or change, our bodies go into a survival mode and we operate from the lower brainstem. It is a very reactive, protective mode that does not invite creative solutions. The body is a powerful force with an arsenal of chemical that can rule your thoughts.

Learn how to friend your body

The number one way to friend your body is to listen to it and do something. The body is talking to you all the time with its vocabulary of two — pleasure and pain. When you feel good, empowered, self-loving — is your body is happy. Continue until, but also listen for the signal of enough. Too much ice cream can make you feel sick. Remember it is about continual course correction.

When you have pain, anxiety, headaches, backaches, leg cramps, your body is signaling to you that something is out of balance and you need to take action. But what action? There are so many people telling you to do different things. Go slow and pay attention. Eventually you will get good at this listening.

Falling into balance is not about being perfect of getting it right. It’s about treating everything as perfection—up days and down days. It’s ok to have meltdowns, to lose your temper or even have an argument. Although we are spiritual beings, we are living a human adventure. The body has its own agenda and sometimes, as my Sufi teacher would often say, Give the dog a bone, i.e. appease the animal-self, soothe yourself and allow yourself to feel safe and loved again.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Dr. Michelle Peticolas is a national speaker and expert on the topics of loss, emotional wounding and unresolved grief. She has a Ph.D. in Sociology and over 18 years experience coaching people through major life challenges. Learn more at

Speak Your Mind