What would you do with a 2nd chance to create a whole new you — more happy, healthy, wealthy, loved, brilliant?
Throughout life there are special times that invite reflection and personal revision. The winter holidays and end of the year, especially this one (see NOTE below), are among those special times.
End of Year/Holidays
Holidays inevitably evoke memories of other holidays, family interactions, and your current hopes and dreams. In the midst of all the bustle, the mind may be flooded with emotionally charged material about how you measure up to your siblings and parental expectations. Unless you keep yourself constantly busy, which is what a lot of people do, self-reflection is inevitable.
Instead of rushing, relax, have some tea and take stock of yourself. Are you unhappy with your review? Are you are not where you want to be? Don’t despair. You’re just getting a wake up signal. It may simply be time for some course corrections or you may want to chart some new destination coordinates.
NOTE
January 2020 has the additional pressure of two large planets, Saturn and Pluto, coming into alignment (i.e. in conjunction). Saturn is about structure and limitations while Pluto is about death, change and transformation. Even though we are still more than a month away from this celestial event, we can feel the pressure mounting for transformation of the structures and limits that have held our world together. Expect big changes.
Create a Second Chance Vision
Take a moment to imagine how you would like your life to be if you could not fail. Do you want better health, more wealth, time, love, creativity, excitement, peace? What would that look like? As you envision this possibility, notice how you feel. Do you feel excited, depressed, or nothing.
Excitement
Great!!! Excitement is exactly what you need, to bring your vision into being.
Now ask yourself what you might be stopping you.
As a Ph.D. Transformation Specialist with over 35 years of guiding people through major life changes, I have noticed three barriers that show up when it comes to translating your vision into reality. They are: time, commitment and fear.
Time
Hyper-busyness is often a sign of avoidance. It is one of the most pernicious drugs of modern society because not only is it socially acceptable and encouraged, it is even expected. Busyness with its accompanying stress is not only addictive, it is just as detrimental to the body as any other drug or bad habit. It robs you of energy, awareness, love, and even your health. The solution to the time barrier is to spend it only on those actions that move you toward your vision.
Commitments
Examine your commitments. Are they supporting you in being your true self and creating your vision or simply providing you with a good excuse for not taking action. Yes, yes — children, aging parents, a spouse in crisis — they all seem like legitimate reasons to delay. However, when those “other” commitments continue to sprout up every time you are about to focus on your work, assume they are an inside job. They are a reflection of your own resistance. How do you get out of that cycle? That’s one of the things I address on my Second Chances Intro call which I will tell you about shortly.
Fear
If it’s fear that you feel, you’re ahead of the game. Fear is what is beneath the other two barriers.
Beneath busyness is a fear of your emotions. You stay busy because you fear to be who you really are. When you stop rushing, the emotions of that failure-of-self can feel overwhelming. According to a U.S. medical expenditure panel, 1 out of 6 Americans is on some psychiatric drug– primarily tranquilizers and antidepressants. And that doesn’t count all the self-medicating through drinking, eating, TV watching, texting and plain old busyness.
Loss of love is the fear that lurks under distracting commitments. People-pleasing is the pattern. You earn love through fulfilling the needs and demand of others. People pleasers often forget to ask for what they want in return, i.e. time, appreciation, love. When they don’t get the expected pay-off, they feel hurt and rejected. Ultimately they need get over their fear of rejection and to learn to please themselves.
Once you bring fear out into the open, it can be addressed directly
Depressed by your vision?
Maybe you are thinking your vision is impossible, a fantasy! What a depressing thought! Deep emotional wounding is often at the core of depression. Some time in your past, you may have been told by a parent or teacher that you were not good enough, had no value, were imperfect, unwanted, stupid, a mess. You may even continue to hear that litany from your boss or spouse. It can be ooh-so-subtle and still hit home every time. This verbal trashing destroys self-confidence and trust.
Unexpressed anger is the hidden emotion beneath most depressions. You “depress” or “repress” an inexpressible emotion. As a child, you were dependent on others and had to adapt. As an adult you do not. If people you trust have filled you with verbal poison, and/or you continue to give yourself daily doses of that same poison out of habit, you have plenty to be angry about. Isn’t it time to change the abuse pattern? The good news is that you can change, especially when you have a compelling vision.
If you feel stuck and unable to move forward with your vision, I can help you get started. Schedule a 15 minute Second Chances Intro call with me at meetwithdrmichelle.com. Find out what’s holding you back, learn how I can help you and receive 3 make-over tips to get you going.
Nothing.
Maybe you have everything you want and you can’t imagine anything better than what you already have. Or perhaps your vision is so small you feel no pull, no excitement or desire. If that’s you, great! No need to talk with me. Enjoy your holiday!
If something comes up for you in the next month that triggers a desire for more or dissatisfaction with where you are, go ahead and read this blog again. My offer for a Second Chance will still be good.
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Dr. Michelle Peticolas is a national speaker, Life Transformation Coach and expert on loss, emotional wounding and unresolved grief. She has a Ph.D. in Sociology and Psychology and over 25 years of coaching people through major life challenges. If you’re ready to change the habit of rushing and hyper busyness, download and listen to her Stress Release audio recording. Discover where you are holding energy and how to release it.
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