Finding Meaning and Purpose

Humans need meaning and purpose. In addition to the needs we share with other animals — oxygen, water, food and shelter,  and the needs we share with other social animals — connection, community, and affection (see my blog, Why We Need Community to Thrive), humans need meaning and purpose. We need to understand why we […]

Why We Need Community To Thrive

Human beings are social animals. Community is the biological plan of our species. We need others to survive. This need for social connection and bonding continues throughout our lives. Community has a powerful influence over the way we think, behave and feel about our selves and those around us. This is particularly true when we […]

What is Your Legacy?

We mostly think of legacy in terms of the money or property we might pass on to our survivors. It is actually anything transmitted or received from us including intangibles like values, beliefs, or attitudes. Often the intangible legacies are more valuable than money or property because they can guide one’s life. My mother, for […]

Fears of Death Creates Fear of Life

We are biologically programed to fear death. All animals are. By fear I mean that automatic response of fight, flee or freeze when faced with a threat to survival. A shadow passes over and the lizard freezes. It passes again and the lizard scurries under a rock. If caught, the lizard will struggle and even […]

The Practice of Impermanence

August contains a powerful lesson in impermanence. Each year, school-aged children across the country foresee the ending of their summer vacation. It is a huge loss of freedom and play. This early conditioning of the school/summer cycle is so deeply etched in our psyches that as adults we still feel the loss, even if we […]

Steering Through Change

Almost every summer for the past 18 years, my husband and I have driven north to Oregon to spend time with his parents at their summer cabin. The cabin is remote, situated 4 miles down a dirt road, deep in a pine forest not far from the Deschutes River. It is so quiet you can […]

Cultivating Courage to Face Fear

Going after our dream is a little bit like a Halloween adventure. We don our costumes – a vision of ourselves — and set off to claim the promised rewards. Along the way we may encounter dark shadows and scary entryways. There may danger and unpleasant surprises. We are scrutinized and judged as we struggle […]

Creating Community

August — time to connect with friends and family! This summer I took some time off and went on retreat to a Sufi center in New Mexico. I’ve been doing this on and off for over 30 years, but two years had slipped by since I last went. It felt good to renew friendships. Sadly, […]

Should We Have More Control Over When We Die?

Modeled after Oregon’s Death with Dignity Act, the California End of Life Option Act, SB128 would allow a mentally competent, terminally ill adult in the final stages of his/her disease to request medication from a physician to bring about a peaceful death. This is a big step that should receive our careful thought and discussion. […]

Bonding Grief

All living creatures come equipped with some form of a distress signaling system. It is a matter of survival and happiness. In his book Buddha Brain, psychologist Rick Hansen described three evolutionary stages of the brain that provide different signaling systems: the Brain Stem, the Limbic System and the Neocortex. Each of these brains focuses […]