Loss and significant change can have a big effect on your life, particularly when it involves significant bonds such as a partner, parent, child, sibling, even a close friend. It is important to address our human need for intimacy and connection that is triggered by loss. Otherwise, you can get you stuck. Stuck is […]
Last week, I flew up to Seattle with my husband to visit his dying father. He needed only to ask and I went with him. After going through the deaths of my own parents twenty years ago, I understand the importance of pausing, for showing up and being present. Accepting What Is Unfortunately, we did […]
Humans need meaning and purpose. In addition to the needs we share with other animals — oxygen, water, food and shelter, and the needs we share with other social animals — connection, community, and affection (see my blog, Why We Need Community to Thrive), humans need meaning and purpose. We need to understand why we […]
Human beings are social animals. Community is the biological plan of our species. We need others to survive. This need for social connection and bonding continues throughout our lives. Community has a powerful influence over the way we think, behave and feel about our selves and those around us. This is particularly true when we […]
We mostly think of legacy in terms of the money or property we might pass on to our survivors. It is actually anything transmitted or received from us including intangibles like values, beliefs, or attitudes. Often the intangible legacies are more valuable than money or property because they can guide one’s life. My mother, for […]
We are biologically programed to fear death. All animals are. By fear I mean that automatic response of fight, flee or freeze when faced with a threat to survival. A shadow passes over and the lizard freezes. It passes again and the lizard scurries under a rock. If caught, the lizard will struggle and even […]
August contains a powerful lesson in impermanence. Each year, school-aged children across the country foresee the ending of their summer vacation. It is a huge loss of freedom and play. This early conditioning of the school/summer cycle is so deeply etched in our psyches that as adults we still feel the loss, even if we […]
Almost every summer for the past 18 years, my husband and I have driven north to Oregon to spend time with his parents at their summer cabin. The cabin is remote, situated 4 miles down a dirt road, deep in a pine forest not far from the Deschutes River. It is so quiet you can […]
The month of February bring us love and revolution. On Valentine’s Day, we pay special tribute to that human desire to bond and connect. The full moon in Aquarius, however, brings change and transformation. A significant relationship inevitably contains some of both. Loving another human is a journey with many challenges. It may start in […]
Going after our dream is a little bit like a Halloween adventure. We don our costumes – a vision of ourselves — and set off to claim the promised rewards. Along the way we may encounter dark shadows and scary entryways. There may danger and unpleasant surprises. We are scrutinized and judged as we struggle […]
