Legendary film star Bette Davis once said: Getting old is not for sissies! For those of us in the firm grasp of the jaws of time, it’s hard not to agree. Aging certainly has its challenges — failing eyesight, sagging skin, a stranger’s face staring back at us in the mirror, receding gums, hair thinning […]
The issue of forgiveness frequently comes up in grief. Both regrets and resentments often accompany significant loss. You make mistakes. Others make mistakes, are insensitive, clueless, stressed. Weird family dynamics get triggered. Regrets are about the actions you took or did not take that you wish had been otherwise. Common missteps of caregiving often top […]
One of the more distressing manifestations of grief — along with the clenching heart pain, bottomless sorrow, mind fog and exhaustion — is an unrelenting loop of disturbing thoughts. I am particularly susceptible to this sort of misery because I am born under the sign of Aquarius, which loves the airy heights of the mind. […]
I like the idea of a day dedicated to the celebration of love. We can always use more love-consciousness in our lives. The origins of Valentines Day have been traced back to the ancient Roman feast of Lupercalia, a spring fertility festival celebrated on February 15th. This holiday was usurped by the Roman Catholics and […]
Last Thursday I did a workshop on grieving at the El Cerrito Public Library. My film, The Heart of Grieving, was screened and people shared their stories of loss. Very soon we were talking about the mystery that can surround death – things like people timing their death to accommodate the needs of their family, […]
The wind was blowing strong and fierce the other day — a warm, dry Santa Ana wind that rustled through the plastic tarps in the backyard, knocking off garbage lids and whipping the trees. Unusual for this time of year even for the Bay Area. It is the kind of wind that signals to my […]
At their core, winter holidays are about celebrating the returning of the light. Candles, luminarias, fireworks and Christmas lights are potent reminders of this. It is a time of hope and promise when darkness is at its greatest. Both the physical and spiritual are included in the meaning. In nature, winter is a time of […]
My sister Kip and her husband Richard had two adorable brown sable Burmese kitties — Mina and Clovis. They were litter mates, housemate, and playmates. Last November, during that terrible Sandy storm that left parts of Lower Manhattan without power, Mina stopped eating. At first they assumed it was the stress of the storm. But […]
Eating affects the way we feel, how we function and how are bodies repair. This is especially important when we are under stress or coping with a significant loss. In my blog Grief Lessons, I described how I lost my appetite after my first husband left me in 1984. Loss of appetite is not an […]
A few weeks ago I was struggling with negative thoughts about my website designer. I say struggling because a) they were making me feel powerless and victimized and b) I was afraid these thoughts might be contributing to the problem. I believe in the power of intention — that thoughts have energy and can actually […]
